Credit shareinspirequotes.blogspot.com
Okay, here I am 18 years old with two children, and planning a wedding. I had a nightmare a few weeks before we were married, it was a warning, unfortunately I ignored it. We were married in November 1974. I could never remember the date it was the second or the third. What woman doesn’t know the date? That would be me. I would start celebrating on the 2nd, so I wouldn’t miss it.
My ex-husband who I will call Monster was in the Army. He was stationed at Ft. Bragg, NC. So I packed up and moved to the south. I hated every moment of it. I felt as though the world had disappeared. I was a city girl. It was nothing but woods, dogs, bugs, and what the heck…snakes. Yikes!
I was often home alone with the children. He was either on base or playing some games in the field with his unit. I got depressed early in the marriage.
After several months Monster began drinking and hanging out with his friends, instead of spending time with his family. This was the beginning of mental abuse. His words were cruel, and cut my heart with his deep voice. It seemed I could never do anything right. I was a good housekeeper and mother. I couldn’t cook very well, but the kids didn’t complain.
I lived in NC for four years and returned to New Jersey. Monster served two years in the National Guard, and then turned ballistic.
I wanted to give you some background. Next week I am going to fast forward to hell.
1: 23 PM
Vera Robinson © 2014
Everyone is Welcome! 
Jul 03, 2014 @ 14:24:56
I’m looking forward to the next post!
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Jul 03, 2014 @ 14:30:56
Thank you Susan. I hope you’re feeling better!:)
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Jul 03, 2014 @ 14:32:33
We are getting ready to go to PA over the weekend. My mother-in-law passed away on last Saturday at 90 years of age. A kinder woman I have never met.
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Jul 03, 2014 @ 14:33:43
I’m sorry to hear that. God bless you all! Be safe during your travels.
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Jul 03, 2014 @ 21:47:23
We’ll be at the gates waiting to read it Vera.
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Jul 07, 2014 @ 23:02:46
You all are the best. I might need the gates to be opened, because I’m running as fast as I can! Thank you. 🙂
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 05:23:46
Don’t forget to wave as you race past. 😉
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 11:02:30
You got it! 🙂
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:28:34
I also look forward to reading the next post. I was in a relationship with the children’s father for 6 years. He was in the infantry with the Army.
He also had a habit of prioritising drinking games and entire nights out with the unit. I often would not see him for days at a time.
Although I have an understanding of the need for the men to bond, I think it was very important for the services to also support their roles within their families. Sadly, he had developed alcoholism and after many many nights of verbal abuse and drunkeness to the state of urinating in his own pants, 5 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child, I decided to leave.
I did the right thing. Sadly 9 years later, he continues down the same slope. No longer in the Army, he now has absolutely no accountability.
*huggles* I don’t know exactly what you have been through, BUT I can relate to what was no doubt a very painful and difficult time.
ML
xx
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:33:00
You did the right thing. I was caught up in a viscous circle. I thank God I didn’t lose myself. I was weak, but always strong. Made many bad decisions thinking I could make a monster into a responsible man. Madness at its best.
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 22:59:11
As someone who has been in a very similar situation Vera, we keep making that decision filled with hope, yearning for a better day, and that better part of the man we decided to commit our lives to.
Sadly, many MANY (on my part also) lessons had to be learned over and over again before things got so bad, we got so fed up and accepted the realization that change had to come from them FOR them, and we needed to do what was best for us and our children. This meant leaving.
It’s really difficult to see things clearly when you are stuck in it.
I know.
ML
x
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:16:13
Words spoken from experience. I wish I would or could have listened and learned years ago. I’m living life now, with no regrets. ..just questioning myself as to what kept me bounded for so many years.
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:20:20
Hope, Vera.
And perhaps on some levels co-dependency. Being emotionally and psychologically beaten down so many times you question your own worth. You loose track of that strength and question everything you are and feel worthless. It’s not called abuse for nothing.
You, however, moved on. Whatever the circumstances, and no matter how long it took, you are no longer stuck where you were. You have grown and reclaimed much.
Keep pushing forward.
ML
xx
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:25:41
Amen! You will read what I was told, and never could see. Blinders have been removed. I view life and walk a path of a positive, and strong woman. I say that proudly; I was able to escape and maintain my sanity. I’m blessed!
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:29:38
xox! YES!! YES! YES!!
ML
x
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:31:46
🙂 thank you for your insight. Have a good evening Miss Lou. See you soon. Travel safely and with peace. God bless you and your family!
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Jul 08, 2014 @ 23:32:49
Ditto!
ML
♥
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:11:08
Wow, Ms. Vee, you have found your voice, and I am glad for it. I’m sorry you weren’t loved as you deserved. You are a phenomenal woman! Hugs, Brenda
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:24:42
The sad thing is, I’ve excepted the possibility that I may be alone for the rest of my life. The positive aspect is; I will love myself, and share joy with those that are worthy! 🙂
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:43:58
Once you accept being alone, and feel complete and happy, that’s when you are most attractive. 🙂
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:45:46
I agree. And complete. 🙂
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:53:14
You’re a charmer. 🙂
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:54:16
LOL. I found my voice. I can go on forever. 🙂
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Aug 16, 2014 @ 23:56:27
And why not? LOL
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Aug 17, 2014 @ 16:56:30
Aug 17, 2014 @ 17:07:35
If sharing this helps one person out there, it already did something very powerful. Thank you Vera Robinson for sharing! Thank you. I just looked at my son, reached out and kissed his head – and with any and all of my doubts of being a “good enough mom”, being a tired single mom, being overwhelmed with my life – I feel so happy, so lucky, so brave, so courageous, so strong, and so blessed for being exactly the tired and overwhelmed single mom that I am. I chose the right thing.
I wrote a blog entry about you (and a bit of me) – here’s to you Vera! From another Vera! 🙂
http://verakasi.wordpress.com/2014/08/17/if-you-find-yourself-in-the-wrong-story-leave/
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Aug 17, 2014 @ 22:05:57
You are an amazing woman. You did the right thing for you and your son. I admire your courage. Life is to be lived each day to its fullest. Blessings Miss V. 🙂
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Aug 18, 2014 @ 00:23:38
Likewise, and a big good huge bear-hug to you! 🙂
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Aug 18, 2014 @ 13:01:54
Right back at ya! 🙂
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Aug 17, 2014 @ 17:08:48
Miss Vee “The sad thing is, I’ve excepted the possibility that I may be alone for the rest of my life. The positive aspect is; I will love myself, and share joy with those that are worthy! :)”
Same here, same here. 🙂
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Aug 17, 2014 @ 22:10:21
Amen! I couldn’t have said it any better. 🙂 I will explore your blog more tomorrow. Today was family and friends day at church. It’s been a long wonderful blessed day! 🙂
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Aug 18, 2014 @ 00:27:03
This was quoted from your text – YOU said it better already! 😉 (It’s fun when people quote me back, I read it from a different perspective then. So I quoted you back to you too.)
🙂
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Aug 18, 2014 @ 08:17:13
LOL! Dah..silly me. 🙂 I read on your about page, that you write raw. I do as well. I just write in the manner my thoughts cross my mind. Have a great day. I’ll see you later.
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Aug 18, 2014 @ 13:52:11
Ms Vee – check out Elwilné Koopma’s update from today on:
http://verakasi.wordpress.com/2014/08/17/if-you-find-yourself-in-the-wrong-story-leave/
If you have words of encouragement, please add. She might need them 🙂
You might have some? 🙂
I could connect you too if you wish to talk for a sec. But no pressure. verakasi@hotmail.com
Or just comment on http://verakasi.wordpress.com/2014/08/17/if-you-find-yourself-in-the-wrong-story-leave/
🙂
Hugs! (In a meeting…. multitasking)
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